Saying Goodbye

I'm spending a couple of days at Fort Hood, saying goodbye to Seth. He leaves for Iraq tomorrow or Tuesday. This is going to be harder than I thought it would be, but easier, too. My emotions are so mixed and confusing that it's hard to know exactly how I feel sometimes.

To start with, my son is going off to war, so naturally, I'm worried and concerned about his health and well-being. What mother wouldn't be??? I'm going to miss him something awful, and there are times that I feel like I might never see him again. Yes, I do think about that more than I care to admit, even to myself. And those are the times that I cry quietly by myself.

But, I'm also very proud of him. He's stoked and ready to go do the job that he committed to three years ago and has been training for the past year. I can't help but smile and laugh when he talks about his buddies. I know that he'll be with another family while he's over there and that they'll take care of each other. I can't explain my feelings to my friends, though, they just look at me with pity. I know they mean well, but they don't have a son or daughter in the service and will never really understand how I feel. Just like those who have never been to war will never really understand how those who have been feel.

One thing's for sure, though, I'll squeeze him tightly before he leaves, tell him I love him, and pray every day for his safe return.....