Thursday, January 19, 2006

Life as usual???

I’ve read it so many times in the blogs of those who are deployed...they say, "Life goes on as usual back home while we’re over here.” Well, maybe life goes on as usual for those who don’t have someone in their family deployed, but life sure doesn’t go on as usual for those of us who have someone over there.

I sometimes feel like I’m just going through the motions every day. I go to work, eat lunch in the usual places, make the drive home listening to my favorite radio station, go through the mail when I get home and pay the bills (ugh), talk to Ken about stuff, figure out what’s for dinner, watch our favorite TV shows, play volleyball once a week, do the shopping, talk to friends, and so on and so on and so on. I guess that’s life as usual, but......

While at work, I try to concentrate on what I need to do each day, but I’m constantly monitoring the IM to see if Seth or any of his buddies get on. I find that I fall behind easily these days and have to play catch up because of my lack of focus. The drive home has become a challenge because sometimes a song comes on that makes me think about Seth and I get all teary-eyed and want to pull over and just let it all go......but I don’t. When I get home, I immediately boot up the IM and cringe whenever I have to leave the house to go somewhere because I’ll be away from the lifeline to Seth. We still do our usual Mexicali’s night – meet Rick at our favorite Mexican food place once a week – but we leave later than usual in case Seth gets on the IM. Even watching TV has changed. I don’t think I’ve watched an entire show since he left. I can’t stay off the computer that long. you detect a pattern here??

But, then......there are nights like last night. Seth got on the IM about 2230. I called the other boys to tell them he was on and we set up a conference with Kevin in Alaska and Rick at his place. I laughed so hard at the boys as they called each other names and sent goofy smiley faces back and forth. It was absolutely fantastic!!! God knows I live for days like that...... :) does NOT go on as usual back least not for some of us.


Blogger syvanna said...

I wake up 5 times during the night to check the phone or the email then I go to work and I know what you mean about the focus thing
then I go to school
and get busted dozing off then come home all while keeping an ear out for my cell phone to ring
I warn everyone that if its him I gotta go and talk but NO LIFE DOES NOT GO ON AS USUAL IT CREEPS BY

1/19/06, 6:25 PM  
Blogger yankeemom said...

I think too what makes it harder, is most people in this country just haven't grasped the fact that we are at war and our sons and daughters are "over there" or training to go. Because it doesn't affect them, their kids are home or in college, they have no clue that there are families hanging on to the computer life-line or a phone call.
Bless you all who have deployed loved ones. May your computer stay online!

1/20/06, 8:29 AM  
Blogger Courtney said...

Lately I have had days off work so I have stayed by the computer for hours. I often think I am just wasting my time he probably won't get on but then when I am about to sign off he signs on. I have gotten to talk to him online two days in a row now. No one at my house understands though. They think I am lazy for staying by the computer instead of being "more productive."

1/20/06, 12:16 PM  
Blogger CaliValleyGirl said...

Yeah...I had this problem...I am going to say "had" because communication used to be worse than it is now...Now I can almost count on daily chats with him. But before I was a slave to the cell phone (in the beginning, I would take it everywhere, and would practically refuse to go to the movies or anywhere else where there was no reception).
And I got so resentful, because he didn't understand, because everytime he tried to contact me, THERE I was...but he didn't understand what kind of personal cost that came to. And when I explained it, he said that I didn't have to do that...but on the other hand, that would have meant missing out on those rare chances at communication.
I look forward to having my life back completely, and not to have to worry about facilitating communication.

1/21/06, 3:26 PM  

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