Drained

I feel old and tired today, and that's pretty unusual for me. I think I'm just physically and emotionally drained after the past couple of weeks. I spent last week on a business trip sleeping in a different hotel every night in California and getting motion sick driving through the mountains.....and wondering if I would get back in time to see Seth off. Then, the minute I got home Saturday night, I turned around and drove to Fort Hood and slept on an air mattress on the floor for three nights.

Last night, for the first time in two weeks, I stopped moving and just sat still, and suddenly, I felt totally spent. I didn't want to finish decorating the tree. I didn't want any dinner. I just sat and stared at the TV.....but I only half watched it. I feel like I need to find some place where I can be alone to let out all the emotions I've been holding in for the past couple of weeks regarding Seth's deployment. I think I really need to do that and then I'll be okay. I'm tired of being strong for everyone else. And maybe a trip to my little sister's Beeranda tonight would help...... :)