Friday, December 09, 2005


I feel old and tired today, and that's pretty unusual for me. I think I'm just physically and emotionally drained after the past couple of weeks. I spent last week on a business trip sleeping in a different hotel every night in California and getting motion sick driving through the mountains.....and wondering if I would get back in time to see Seth off. Then, the minute I got home Saturday night, I turned around and drove to Fort Hood and slept on an air mattress on the floor for three nights.

Last night, for the first time in two weeks, I stopped moving and just sat still, and suddenly, I felt totally spent. I didn't want to finish decorating the tree. I didn't want any dinner. I just sat and stared at the TV.....but I only half watched it. I feel like I need to find some place where I can be alone to let out all the emotions I've been holding in for the past couple of weeks regarding Seth's deployment. I think I really need to do that and then I'll be okay. I'm tired of being strong for everyone else. And maybe a trip to my little sister's Beeranda tonight would help...... :)


Blogger Sminklemeyer said...

sometimes, being the strong one is a tough task. people look to you for answers, but we're only human. in the bible, god says he will not give you anything you cannot handle. so always remember that.

12/10/05, 10:07 AM  

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