Friday, January 27, 2006

Where am I going?

Walking into the office building this morning, I came across a man and a woman standing in front of the list of occupants, looking rather puzzled. I waited for the elevator, watching them out of the corner of my eye. As I was getting onto the elevator, I paused in the doorway and turned back to them and asked if I could help them find the office they were looking for. They looked at each other with a look of relief and said they were looking for a particular doctor. I told them that they needed the building next door and the look in their eyes as the woman said “I told you we were in the wrong building” to the man was priceless. They smiled and thanked me and I stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for my floor. I couldn’t help but smile and chuckle as I rode up to my floor...but it also made me think. Is that the way I look these days? Like I’m lost in a fog? Like I have no idea where I'm going or what’s going to happen next? When will life get back to normal again, or will it ever? These thoughts made me frown and wonder...but then, they made me smile.

My life has changed so much in the last few years...but I honestly wouldn’t want to go back to where I was before. I’ve grown so much since then, but I’ve shrunk too...figure that one out... :) I watched my family spread out across the world to where I now have no sons at home and two of them are on opposite ends of the earth...miss all three of you guys. My husband and I have grown closer than you, baby. We had the house to ourselves for a couple of months after 20 something years and then it filled up again, with a daughter this time...something I never expected but am enjoying to no end...glad you’re here, Katie. I made some great new friends, and one has turned out to be a Godsend for me, even though he doesn’t see it or understand you, Casanova.

So, I guess it’s not all that bad not knowing where I’m going or what’s going to happen next, as long as I have my family and friends. Every time I’ve felt lost, someone has been there to help me find the you, Dad. With every dark cloud, there has been a silver lining...thanks, Gabe. With every stumble along the way, there’s been someone there to pick me up...sisters are the best. With every prayer I’ve been unable to utter due to an inability to focus lately, there has been someone praying on my you, Andy and Sondra. I feel so genuinely loved and cared about and rich beyond all earthly means......may God bless all of you.


Blogger jewdiknight said...

well..hey i though that i would drop you a line since you always leave one onmy blogger..But hey seth is like a brother to me, and i will do anything for him. Even if it means eating a fly..well no thats just way out there! lol..but just know that i will always be here when you need the dilly-o about seth the brownies are in high demand out here...people are talking about paying $5 per bag...hehe MRS. C you are our provider lol....

1/28/06, 3:40 PM  
Blogger Courtney said...

I know the feeling of distraction. I can't focus on anything if my life depended on it. Today at church I kept thinking about Danny. And what is awful is the kind of thoughts I think. I am always thinking about what I would do without him. What I would do if something happened to him. How I would handle it.

1/29/06, 7:09 PM  

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